Sunday, 12 October 2008

• it's been a while.  i haven't had much to say, i guess.  here's the latest on the custody case:

   

  the girls were with their dad for the summer and just several weeks from coming home to start the new school year.  ash had decided to stay in georgia.  kris was coming home. it'd been this rollercoaster of emotion the entire summer.  i wondered daily when i was going to get the phone call that both girls were not coming home. anyhow,  i called my attorney to draw up papers stating that i would have custody of kris and he would have custody of ash.  i am sad that both my girls aren't coming back.  then, a week later, two weeks before i am to pick them up, ash called me and said she wants to come back home.  we had a great talk and i heard in her voice that she has grown up, realizes where her life is better.  i am elated. i made arrangements to take all of us to universal studios for the day, stay in a hotel and come back the next day.  i wanted to suprise both my girls with this last summer trip. i couldn't wait until monday to call my attorney because at this point, i didn't know that she HAD submitted the papers to his attorney.  i didnt think she'd do this without my looking them over first.  

  1 week before i am to pick up both my girls,  my attorney calls me while i'm at work and tells me that he's agreed to custody of ash and i have custody of kris.  "wait, ash is coming home.  she called me on friday and wants to come home, remember, i called you" i pleaded.  my attorney tells me that she has heard different.  i immediately call ash to find out what's going on.  ash tells me she wants to stay.  uggh.  my heart is AGAIN torn into many pieces.  what is this kid trying to do to me?!  i know that her doing this is to hurt me intentionally.  i KNOW this.  and i grow angry and tell her that if this is what she has decided, i support her but that she will have to stay there in georgia, regardless.  i made sure she understood that there would be no turning back once those papers are signed.  she understood. 

  the following weekend, darryl and i head to the pick-up point to pick up kris.  we had brought along a friend of kris' because we had decided to take kris and her friend to spend the day at universal studios. i had already purchased 4 tickets, booked the hotel rooms and wasn't going to let this ruin the trip.  ash was there and was distant.  i could see in her eyes that she didn't want to stay there but she knew she couldn't change her mind at this point.  she looked sad and unhappy.  this broke my heart...again.

  a few weeks after getting kris settled and ready for the new school year, i had talked to ash.  she didn't want to talk to me.  she acted as though i were interrupting her tv watching or daydreaming.  i let her go and she didn't say i love you or i miss you.  i didn't either. 

  her birthday was sept. 30.  she turned 15.  i called her but no one answered.  i called her dad's cell phone, but he didn't answer.  he hasn't talked to me or replied to  my emails since signing the new custody arrangement papers.  my birthday was 3 days later.  no phone call, no email.  no card in the mail.  i try to act tough, but it hurts. 

  this was my story of raising two teenage daughters.  now it is my story of raising one.

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